Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
