Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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