Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize