guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
