You're so nebulous sometimes
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
