i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
