Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
