He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
