You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Can you bring me the toilet please
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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