1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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