I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
