she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I understand Curling. That high.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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