I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
