Pants 0. Shit 1.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
