I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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