wrigley field is MILF paradise
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
