I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
