I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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