There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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