well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
