i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
