I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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