am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
