There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
