Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
