Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
