going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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