i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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