Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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