Small penises have feelings too.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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