I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
