Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize