that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
