WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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