well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
