You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
