I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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