problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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