It's like a parade of train wrecks.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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