I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize