You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
