bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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