you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize