NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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