This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
