I smell stomach acid.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
