The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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