you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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