Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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