I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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