There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
