So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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