hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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