I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
