Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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