I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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