She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
