Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You are the jesus of drinking
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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