I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
