I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
