she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i think i just lost a toe
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
